Capitolo 80
"I went to see Mrs.----to-day, and I started to hear his/her voice in the
room, as I sat, while waiting in the weak sketch-room. He was going out only,
having been above, Mrs.----says, to look at the ferneries of his/her/their children;
and me, as I heard that voice, I would be been able to go out and I would be been able me to throw to
his/her feet through the threshold, those lilts so it stole in my heart and
you lead, while returning the old madness. I had one of the acute attacks of
the pain to the heart and Mrs----house sent me in the carriage. Elsie is
in the country, well and strong. I am so happy. These illnesses frighten
his/her seriously. I am perhaps growing thin and weak, but I cannot die, alas!
You leave that beauty goes. I don't desire to preserve him/it anymore.
"When I reached house, I placed of twilight for of the time on the sofa,
he/she forces that has for arriving above to my room. There is, there can be, no
possible help or it hopes in my trouble, any fruition will follow the
promises Jump kept time for me.
"Oh, God! if there is a God! but because I desire to pray? Has not me
prayed before, and not only anybody answer was vouchsafed but any feeling
of a Power that he/she listens, a loving Presence, assuaged my pain. Anchor, human or
beast, we have to make our moans, although futile, when we am in the taking
of a deadly agony.
"_June_ 20, 18--.
"I have been ungrateful. I have been unfaithful. Allow me to bless the name of God,
for Him you/he/she has finally felt my prayer, and he will allow me to die--very soon.
"It was so fresh in the office of the doctor this morning. The grapevines around the
window made the beautiful shades on the white curtains and the floor. The
light was soft. His/her circle, German and red face was almost pale as him
stammered out of time technical, in it replies to my questions.
"'Oh, Mees!' he said, while throwing on his/her fat hands. 'You ask so scrounger! Calm place,
if I frighten her, You the faints, you get worse. No, no, I won't have
it!'
"But it finally reassured from my calm, he told me, as I tilted me on the