Capitolo 62
what it seemed as if the apostle had had me and anybody other in mind
when he said: "Without it was fights, among it was fears" (II Cor. vii, 5).
I considered and I complained about the uselessness and the wretchedness of
my existence, as unfruitful now it was my life, both to me and to
others; as of old man I had been of some service to the clerics that me
you/he/she had now abandoned in the interest of these monks, so that I was anybody
more from very able or to be of use to; as incapable I had me it tried
I in all self had undertaken or I had tried, so that above
all others I deserved the reproach, "These men started to build, and
it was not able to end" (xiv of Luke, 30). My desperation still grew
more depth when I compared the evils I had gone away behind with that to
what I had come, for my first sufferings it now seemed to me as
nothing. Full often me I groaned: "Justly it has this pain come on
me because I abandoned the Paraclete that is to say the Comforter,
and it is thrusted in the sure devastation; trying to avoid threats me
run away to the certain danger."
The thing that tormented more me was the fact that, having
abandoned my oratory, I could not make appropriate provision for the
celebration there of the divine office, for indeed the extreme
poverty of the place would offer as soon as the necessities of one
man. But the true Paraclete Stesso drew me true consolation
the mean of this the pain of mine, and it did all due you provision for
His/her own oratory. For him that happened in of the way or other,
required that places to him as having legally made part of the more first days to
his/her convent, my abbot of St. Denis found possession of the abbey of
Argenteuil of which me first I have spoken, where her who was
now my sister in Christ rather than my wife, Heloise, had taken the
veil. From this abbey him expelled by strength all the nuns that had
dwelt there, and whose my first companion was become the
prioress. The being of exiles dispersed so in the various places, me
it perceived that this was an opportunity introduced by same God to